A Sparky and Blondie Christmas
by AllMyNamesAreTaken
Summary: LaLu twist on OVA 9, a.k.a. the Christmas special. A one shot with a lot of funny, a little sweet, and good helping of sexy. M for a reason.


**One of the reviewers on "The Punishment Game" one shot suggested I do a LaLu twist on OVA 9, and I ended up watching the OVA and deciding "Yea I should totally do this". So Here it is - A LaLu twist on OVA 9, the christmas special. With a lemon at the end because I can't write a story about these two without having them bang. Also, maybe it's a new development, but I was extremely confused by Carla suddenly being able to use a human form? Like when did that happen? But the random human form looks kind of like Lisanna so I just switched the appropriate "dares" so Lisanna did them instead of carla.**

 **M FOR A REASON. There is smut. Also, I don't own Fairy Tail or any of it's related stuff. Just in case you want to skip the smut (for some reason) I'll mark the beginning and ending of it. But even without the smut it's still kinda M-rated.**

"Why does it have to be MY house?" I whine at the sight of everyone - Erza, Natsu, Gray, Lisanna, Juvia, Wendy, Gajeel, Levy, and all three exceeds - sitting around my living room.

"Cause' it's comfy!" Natsu grins, slinging an arm around Lisanna.

"Yea! It's Christmas, Lucy!" Gray says, smiling widely and surprisingly fully clothed, his blue and white sweater still on his torso. Behind him, Juvia stares openly at his butt. Erza slides into my side, wrapping an arm around me and a twinkle in her eye. From nowhere, she draws out a large bottle of sake and two glasses, shoving one in my hand. Her lips curl back excitedly as she pours the fiery liquid.

"Come on baby, this is youth! Let's start fresh today!" she titters. "We're going to have fun!" I look at her blandly for a moment, but her mood is infectious. I grip the glass hesitantly, eyeing it. With a shrug, I knock it back, letting the burn of it slide down my throat.

"I don't really know where you found that, but cheers," I gasp out halfway through.

"Ain't nothin wrong with that!" Natsu and Gray cheer, arms slung over each other's shoulders and glasses full of sake in their free hands. "Let's have fun!"

"Merry Christmas!" Erza calls. Everyone in the room calls it back, knocking their glasses back right after. It didn't take long for everything to go a little fuzzy, between the warmth of the heater and the buzz of the drink.

Laxus POV

It was dark by the time we got back, and I was irritated. We should have been back much earlier, but thanks to a freak snowstorm, the train got delayed. The snow crunched under my shoes and my coat trailed behind me as I made my way to Blondie's apartment. All around me were the sounds and smells of Christmas Eve. I passed a small group of kids running around throwing snowballs at each other. I ducked as one sailed past my head and offered a smile and head nod as I kept walking. Not even kids almost hitting me with snowballs could mess with the spirit permeating the entire town.

I couldn't help but feel a twinge of sadness at missing the day's festivities - I missed last year's thanks to my exile, and although I may never admit it, I wish I could have been there. Damn holidays, making me feel sappy.

When I drew near Lucy's place, I smirked at the cacophony of scents coming from within. Looks like Blondie got invaded again. I heard laughter coming from within and the smile grew. I briefly considered climbing through the window just for fun, but it sounds like all three other slayers are in there, so it's not like I could surprise anyone. I quickened my steps until I stood outside the door, the scent of alcohol coming from within tickling my nostrils. I knocked a few times and heard Lucy start to giggle uncontrollably. A few moments passed before a terrified looking Gajeel and Gray opened the door. I cocked my head.

"Uh, what's up?" I ask slowly, eyebrow raised.

"They're drunk," Gray whispered, looking over his shoulder. I peered over him to see all of the women flopping around. Juvia jumped on Gray's back and he flailed a bit, falling backwards. Levy did the same to Gajeel, although the iron slayer didn't move at all. He stood to the side and I walked in, closing the door behind me. Levy hopped off Gajeel and wobbled before squinting at him and looking at him intensely. The iron slayer stiffened and looked uncomfortable. Little blue leaned closer in concentration and pointed at his face.

"Gajeel..." she whispered in horror. "Where are your eyebrows?!" she squeals, bursting out laughing. Gajeel scowled. I chuckled at the display, but cut off when warmth engulfed my left arm. I looked down to see a drunken Blondie latched onto my arm, her large breasts smooshed against my forearm. My eyes widened and I swallowed thickly.

"Laxusssssss..." She whined, pouting, and tugging on my coat. My eyebrows raised and I smirked at her wolfishly. There was some commotion and I looked up just in time to get hit between the eyes with an empty bottle. I lost my balance and fell backwards. Next thing I know I'm looking up at the ceiling, a giggling Lucy limply rolling around on top of me.

"Hey! It's empty! Bring me more!" Erza's abrasive drunken voice demanded. I blinked. Lucy's wiggling on top of me was starting to feel a little _too_ good, so I sat up and with strong hands picked her up off of me and placed her down on the floor next to me. She crawled away, apparently finding something else to capture her attention. I bit back a groan at the sight of her skirt riding up enough to give me an eyeful of her panties. She crawled over to Lisanna who was currently all but molesting an uncomfortable looking Natsu. He wormed his way out of her grasp and hopped backwards. Lisanna and Lucy then proceeded to hug and pet each other's heads while meowing. Hrm. That's... sort of hot.

"Gray. Let's get out of here!" Natsu squeaked, eyes wide. Gray nodded and both started for the door only to stop short as a sword slammed into the wood between their heads. "Eeep!"

"Where do you think you're going?!" an inebriated Erza hobbled to her feet and glared at the two. "You need more effort!" she growled. The two dumbasses stared at her in confusion and terror. "They can't even do that!"

"Wh-what?" Gray stutters. I rubbed my head where the bottle and smacked me. Dammit, I should have known... Erza's one of the only people able to hurt me with a damn bottle.

"More effort!" she yelled at the scared pair, cheeks red from drink. Levy started laughing.

"She said the same thing twice haha!" she giggled, pointing at the red-head in the Santa dress. She then got distracted by her own finger and started giggling at it. Damn, little blue is smashed.

I gotta catch up.

"Oi, scrap heap! I think I'm guna need to catch up here a bit. Where's the booze?" I barked at Gajeel. He smirked, but kept his cautious eyes on the laughing Levy. He grabbed a bottle of whiskey from the table behind him and tossed it to me. I caught it effortlessly, and took a good swig of the burning liquid, the cool glass against my lips making me shudder. Outside, small flakes of snow had begun to slowly fall.

"How could Gray-sama go home without Juvia?" Juvia whimpered from her spot kneeling on the floor, tears flowing from her eyes at a rate only the rain woman is capable of. Lucy stands up.

"Let's have some more fun!" she giggles before falling back onto her butt with a squeak. "Let's play!" she suggests sweetly, although the look she's giving me right now makes me think that maybe the playing she's thinking of isn't the kind we can do surrounded by people. Well, at least I'm sure _she_ would be against it. Not going to lie - I'd totally bang my mate in front of everyone if I didn't know for certain she'd kill me for it. I shot a look at Erza who was glaring at Pantherlilly for some reason. The black cat was currently next to Happy on their hands and knees with the white cat sitting on top of them and pulling their ears. Poor guys. Okay but maybe banging Lucy in front of Erza would end badly.

My thoughts are interrupted by Lucy flopping on my lap. "Look Laxus, I'm a fish!" she slurs happily, making a ridiculous fish-lips expression.

"You two are reindeer! You hear me?" the white cat yells while still sitting on top of Happy and Lily.

"No I'm not..." Lily says meekly in his surprisingly deep voice. The two cats slowly make their way forward while Carla rides on top, a regal look on her face. Gajeel looks on in mortification.

"L-Lily..." he groans. "h-Hey! Snap out of it!" he orders. He grips Levy's shoulders as she stumbles past him. "Levy!" he calls to her. She looks at his face and starts laughing. His face falls again.

"you look funny, Gajeel!" she titters. "You're eyebrows are still gone!" she guffaws, grabbing his hair in a fist. Gajeel runs a hand over his face.

"You're really knockin my ego down, shrimp," he groans. She just continues to laugh while pulling on his mane.

Juvia stumbled to Gray, weeping. "Gray-sama!" she cries, gripping his shirt and looking up into his eyes. Gray, looking very uncomfortable, eyes her.

"Um... yes?" he asks cautiously. Juvia sniffs.

"It's snowing!" she whines. Gray sweatdrops. And he looks out the window to see that it is indeed snowing.

"Yea I guess it is?" he says. Juvia wraps her arms around him and buries her face in his sweater.

"I-It's so dreadful!" she cries.

"W-what?!" he squawks.

Lisanna crawls over to Natsu. "Natsu, please fondle my jaw like you always do," she whines, crawling into his space. Natsu's eyes bug out of his head.

"I never do that!" he cries. I whistle.

"Come on, Natsu. Fondle your woman's jaw," I goad, smirking. His face is the same color as his hair and Lisanna pounces on him, making him fall backwards.

"Then I'll do it for you!" she coos, rubbing her body all over the stiffened and uncomfortable Natsu. She purrs and nuzzles his chin.

"St-stop Lis!" he croaks, face still bright pink.

Boy must not have gone all the way with her yet or something. I almost feel bad for him. He probably doesn't want their first time to be while drunk or something. Or maybe he's just that immature. It's hard to tell. Before I can even fully form a plan to help the little dumbass out, Lucy is latched onto my arm again, her breasts looking enticing even being completely covered by her soft turtleneck. She purrs, nuzzling my bicep and I swallow loudly. Does... does she want me to just fuck her right now? Cause I am getting some real mixed signals here.

"Why are they all so close...!" I heard Erza growl angrily. I look over to see the red head fuming. "The best thing for this is... THE GUILD MASTER'S GAME!" she shouts loudly, pulling a cup full of Popsicle sticks out from nowhere. I wonder if she can store random objects in her requip space?

Lucy perks up and swings her head to look at her teammate. "That sounds fun!" she says giddily. I feel a sense of foreboding - why do I feel like this is going to be bad. Very, very bad.

"What the heck is that!" Natsu cries, wiggling his way out of Lisanna's arms.

"Wait... I've heard of that!" Gray grunts around Juvia's bearhug. "It's a horrible game!"

"Are we talking horrible as in bad? Or horrible as in we're going to die?" Gajeel asks nervously.

"All of these sticks have numbers," Erza begins to explain, ignoring everyone. "And one has the mark of the 'master'. It all takes one to know their number, for example, 5 and 8," she continues, a sense of tension growing. "You must complete your given order. And then that order has to be completed." She finishes. Levy burst out laughing.

"She said the same thing twice again!" she snickers. All of the guys in the room paled. Blondie's boobs pressed to my arm and the slight buzz from the whiskey has me just watching the events unfold curiously. Maybe I'm just buzzed, but Titania's rule explanation didn't make any sense.

"That sounds like fun, heehee!" Lucy giggles sweetly, seemingly so drunk she has forgotten just how fucking scary her teammate can be.

"Haha, I'm sure weird orders are guna be given!" Levy chokes out between laughs.

"Yea, like when we played truth or dare!" Lisanna snickered.

Juvia shakes the unconscious Wendy. "Wendy, I can't believe you're asleep when the fun begins..." she cries. Wendy twitches awake and blinks. "Wendy!" Juvia cries in happiness.

The can of sticks is placed in the middle of the room, and everyone grabs a stick. I peek at mine and swallow thickly when I see it isn't the master's mark.

"I wonder who the master will be!" Lisanna and Lucy cheer.

"It's me! I am the master!" Erza calls out triumphantly, and my stomach drops. Actually, it looks like everyone's stomachs dropped. I share a look of horror with Lucy. Looks like she's sobered up a little bit from that.

"Did she cheat?!" Natsu hisses to Gray.

"Don't say stupid things, idiot!" Gray hisses back in fear.

"Number 7..." Erza begins. "Has to be nude."

A few moments later.

I honestly would have been happy to go my whole life without ever seeing Gajeel naked. But no. The sight of his pierced dick is seared into my mind.

"Fuck, Erza! WHY!" I growl, slapping a hand over my eyes. Gajeel's eyes were wide as he stared at the ground, mortified. He was actually blushing, which is something I don't think I've ever seen. "If this game ends with all of us guys naked I'm going to be pissed," I grumble. Levy was burning up and I could tell she was caught between pity, arousal, and embarrassment. She squeaked but didn't look away.

"H-How... fun..." Lucy squeaked awkwardly.

"H-How... sad..." Juvia responded. Levy just laughed awkwardly.

"Let's move onto the next! Good thing you're not the master, eh Gajeel?" Erza cooed.

"Uh stop! Let's not do this, Erza!" Lucy tried to argue. Juvia took her side.

"This is going to get dangerous!" the rain woman added. Wendy and Carla just stood like statues, and Levy curled up in a ball.

"Who will be... the Master!" Erza laughed, smiling wickedly. Everyone drew again and my forehead broke out in a cold sweat when I saw I drew a number again.

"M-me...?" Lucy hesitantly announces, looking at her stick. "Then... number 1 and 5 give each other a hug!" She announces. I flick my eyes down and see a number 5 glaring back at me. Fuck. I don't _do_ hugs.

"THAT'S TOO SOFT!" Erza interjects loudly, making Lucy freeze and look at her with wide eyes. "Perhaps you don't understand the meaning of the game?"

"The master's orders are absolute, right?" Lucy asks in confusion.

"But you haven't given a proper order!" Erza accuses, wagging her finger at her. "You must give an order that generates a great change of emotions, that's the point of the game," Erza explains smugly. Gajeel looks forlorn.

"That's the purpose...?" he groans.

"I will change the order the master gave!" Erza announces, ignoring Gajeel. My eyebrows shot up when the redhead suddenly grabbed Lucy's breasts, making Blondie stiffen awkwardly. "Numbers 1 and 5 must massage the chest of the master!" she announces. My jaw drops.

Next thing I know I'm pawing at my mate's left breast while Levy gropes her right. And I'm caught between an awkward combination of arousal and embarrassment. After a bit I pull back, blushing slightly when my member twitched in want. Lucy bit her lip. "At least it was us, I guess..." Levy mutters.

"The amount of time is too short! The minimum time is a minute, that's the rule!" Erza interjects loudly, pointing at a stopwatch. My face burns a bit. Levy and I return to massaging Lucy's glorious tits and I clench my free fist to distract myself from my slowly hardening member. FUCK.

"How long do we have to do this for?" Levy mutters, blushing brightly. Lucy continues to bite her lip, her fists clenching. I briefly consider making my massaging into the way she likes to tease her, but then I think about how it'll just affect me as much. Damn redheaded witch.

"Rule? The minimum time is one minute?" Wendy whispers in horror, and I clench my teeth. Dammit that's right, Wendy's here. Oh for fuck sakes, the poor kid's going to be scarred for life by the end of this.

After the minute was up I pulled my hand back quickly with a grunt, a bead of sweat formed at my temple. Lucy blushed deeply and looked at me out the corner of my eyes. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. Okay, Laxus. You can do this. Just stay calm.

The next round had Happy triumphantly raising the master's mark high. "I'm the master!" he cheered. Carla zoomed to his side.

"Happy... don't do anything cruel!" she begged nervously. Happy's face darkened, an evil smirk growing.

"Number 10 should hit number 3 on the butt!" he announced. Erza nodded in respect.

"Well done, Happy." she praised.

Natsu made his way to the still naked Gajeel, and with both making stiffly uncomfortable, serious faces, smacked the studded man's ass. Everyone stared.

"How... cruel..." Lucy muttered, looking on in horror. My jaw clicked closed as I tried to erase yet another image from my mind.

Wendy drew master next. "Um... number 1 and 6 have to stand in front of each other and stare at each other." she says nervously, eyeing Erza, waiting for the redhead to pounce. Thankfully, she seemed to accept it.

Gray and Levy stood in front of each other and stared awkwardly. "Well, at least it's not that bad..." Levy tried to be optimistic.

"Good thing it's something so simple," Gray agreed. Juvia wept.

"Now Levy-sama is his new love..." she cried. We all rolled our eyes and Gajeel snorted.

Levy picked the master stick next. "Numbers 8 and 9 must give each other a hug." she announces. My jaw clenches and my nostrils flare when Lucy and Gray embrace each other.

"Th-This is okay...right?" Lucy laughs uncomfortably. Gray starts to sweat.

"As long as you tell your behemoth not to eviscerate me..." he mutters.

"Why with everybody else?" Juvia laments.

Erza raised the master stick up high in triumph. "I AM THE MASTER!" she calls and everyone pales.

"THAT'S NOT GOOD!" Gray, Natsu, and Gajeel cry.

"Giving such dumb orders..." Erza mutters. "Don't underestimate me!" she threatens.

"But no one is underestimating you!" Lisanna cries, holding onto Wendy in terror.

"Number 5 has to dance naked!" is the announcement.

Before I can properly avert my eyes, Natsu is dancing wildly, his dick swinging out in the open.

"GOD!" Gray shouts. Lisanna eeps and turns bright red, unable to look away. Yes, it would appear those two haven't gone all the way yet. Natsu keeps a stern face, but his cheeks are burning.

"Stop giving those orders!" Lucy cries, covering her eyes with her hands.

"Hurry up and draw the next one so I can stop!" Natsu bites out. Everyone scrambles to draw a stick. Natsu might have to stay naked, but at least he won't be slinging his thing around all over.

"I'm the master again!" Erza shouted and I fell backwards.

"NO!" everyone yelled in horror.

"Please Erza... don't command any cruel things..." Wendy and Lisanna plead. Erza looks at her.

"Okay... I should consider your request since you asked me..." she allows. Everyone heaves a sigh of relief. "BUT I REFUSE!" Erza roars, evil radiating around her person. Wendy squeals. "Number 1 has to undress and shout the name of the one they love!" she shouts, eye gleaming evilly. I flick my eyes down to my stick and my stomach drops.

I stand up, steeling myself. Lucy looks at me with wide eyes.

"YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" Gajeel shouts. I ignore him and strip quickly, refusing to look anywhere besides the wall. I kneel down to the ground and ignore the blazing in my cheeks and the fact I can _feel_ Lucy staring STRAIGHT at my dick.

"LUCY!" I shout loudly. Lucy falls over backwards and her nose bleeds a little.

"I'd tease you... but I can't look at you right now," Gajeel groans. I smirk.

"Last time I was naked in Lucy's living room I had her bent over-" I start.

"LAXUS!" Lucy shrieks. scrambling over a stool to push me over and cover my mouth. There's a loud collective groan throughout the room.

"I didn't need the fucking image, Laxus..." Gray groans.

"I don't want to think about you and Luce _ever!_ GROSS!" Natsu squawks, burying his face in an embarrassed Lisanna's back.

"Shut up!" Lucy whines. I smirk at her.

"Lucy, as much as I appreciate you squirming in my naked lap..." I whisper in her ear. She goes bright red and leaps off me. I chuckle loudly.

As luck would have it, Erza drew the master yet _again_. "Numbers 4 and 7 have to imitate a dog in a maid cosplay," she announces. Wendy and Lisanna bark while waving their fake and real (respectively) tails.

And then she drew it again. "Number 6 has to go shopping in a bathing suit."

Lisanna shivered after she got back, bikini barely keeping her from turning blue and an apple in her hand.

And again.

"Number 4 will remove their panties and throw them out the window."

Gajeel grabbed his nose to stop the bleeding as Levy threw her panties out the window, pulling her thankfully long enough sweater down to cover herself. I lean over to whisper to Blondie, who had subconsciously migrated back to my side.

"If you lose your panties, that's it. We're going in the other room," I growl. Her face burns but she looks at me with heat in her eyes. "I don't care if there's people still out here, I don't have enough self-control to deal with that. I'll either take you in front of everyone, or behind a closed door." My warning has her biting her lip and rubbing her thighs together. I smirk. "In fact... you _are_ wearing a skirt, Blondie..." I purr, my hand snaking around her waist to barely dip below the waistband, pulling a shiver from her. "If you sat in my lap... I could fuck you and no one would even know..." I could smell her arousal spike and she shivered, gritting her teeth. A pillow hit me in the face.

"Stop doing whatever the hell you're doing, spark plug!" Gajeel yells angrily. I glare at him but relent when I see Natsu glaring at me as well, and Wendy looking extra uncomfortable and purposefully facing away from us. I'm guessing they can smell her arousal as well, and that doesn't sit well with me. Thankfully, Lucy hasn't realized just yet, and would probably try to bury herself in a hole in the ground if she _did_. She still blushed and scooted away, though. I sighed and pulled the pillow over my lap while I tried to calm myself back down from the turn my thoughts took.

Fuck it'd be easy. If she positioned herself right, on her knees in front of me while I was sitting... I could slip her panties to the side... And slide right in. And the view would be blocked from everyone else. I grunted and ran a hand through my hair. Stop it Laxus. Now's not the time.

And Erza was the master again.

"Number 8 and 10..." she began. "Must kiss."

Pantherlilly and Happy awkwardly pressed their faces together. And everyone felt their shame. Just when they thought it couldn't get any worse, Erza added "For one minute."

The black and blue cats fainted.

And Erza again. There's no fucking way she's not cheating.

"Number 3 has to have candle wax dripped onto their back while saying how good it feels."

I bit my fist hard while Lucy took off her sweater and got down on her hands and knees in front of Erza, who held the burning candle over her back. The first drop hit her skin and she straightened up with a yelp, her breasts bouncing with the motion. My teeth started to cut into my skin and my other hand's knuckles turned white in the grip on the pillow. Erza glared at her and she bent back over.

Another drip came down and her little mewl of pain was just a bit too close to the sound she makes when I'm fucking her hard. "I-It feels good," she stutters out through her clenched teeth. FUCK FUCK FUCK.

I shift, my dick painfully hard. Another drip, and her mewl sent lightning straight to my groin. The white candle wax on the small of her back looked way too similar too when I'd blow my load on her. Oh fuck. "I-It feels good!" she gasped out, eyes watering in pain. Fuck, my mate is having pain inflicted on her and I'm hard as a rock. What is wrong with me.

The next drip had her arching her back in an effort to get away from the burn, but the motion was too similar to the way her back arches when I hit that special spot deep inside her. My eye twitches and my stone-faced facade slipped, the desperation starting to show. "It's hot!" she cries. "I-I mean... i-it feels g-good!" she stutters out.

"You're overreacting!" Natsu yells. Luckily the order was finished and Lucy pulled her top back on and she sat back down. Levy rubbed her arm comfortingly.

"It hurts..." she whined.

My nostrils flared and I could hardly move. When Erza drew master again, I prayed to every god I could think of that I'd make it out of this.

Not even the order that resulted in Gray, Natsu, and Gajeel all naked in the bathtub together could get me to calm down.

The next order had Blondie and Lisanna dressed in corsets and stockings, selling candles on the street. I all but whimpered when they came back in and Blondie fell down next to me, shivering from the chilly wind. I bit my lip till I could taste blood when I peeked down to see her nipples poking through the fabric from the cold.

Finally, FINALLY... I drew the master stick. I pumped my fist in celebration, peeking a look at Lucy. She subtly tilted her stick my way so I could see her number. A grin spread across my face.

"I'm the master!" I announce. Everyone paled, obviously expecting me to be as cruel as Erza. And while it was tempting... "I order number 7 to leave with me to go to my house." Lucy let out an excited squeal that she cut off with a cough to try and hide it. Erza glared at me.

"That doesn't -" she started. I looked at her with murder in my gaze.

"Fine! I order number 7 to leave with me to my house, where she will strip naked for me and ride my cock! HAPPY?!" I roar, grabbing my coat and wrapping it around my waist. Gajeel bursts out laughing while Gray and Natsu choke on their own spit. Wendy fainted, Carla looking scandalized. And while I should feel bad about that, I honestly can't bring myself to care right now. "IS THAT EMOTIONALLY CHARGED ENOUGH FOR YOU?!"

Erza stuttered and snapped her mouth shut, eyes wide.

I grabbed a flustered, wide eyed Lucy's wrist and bolted for her door, her corset/stockings/panties combination still the only thing she's wearing. Before she could even form a protest, I had pulled her outside and called down lightning to teleport us.

"What if they destroy my house!" Lucy whimpered against my lips as soon as I pressed her to my front door.

 **-start smut-**

"I'll buy you a new house then!" I bark at her, all but kicking in my door and pulling the damn temptress close to me, letting my coat fall to the floor. I hoist her up in my arms, her legs wrapping themselves around my hips. She let out a needy moan when my rock hard length pressed against her panties. My whole body was boiling with need. I pulled my mouth away for a moment.

"IF ANYONE IS IN MY HOUSE, GET THE FUCK OUT RIGHT NOW OR I WILL KILL YOU!" I roar down the hall, my voice echoing through the hopefully empty house. As far as I know, Freed and Evergreen were having dinner with Elfman and Mirajane, and Bickslow was drinking with Cana and Gramps. But with my luck, one of the fuckers would have made their way back here for some ungodly reason. I turned back to the perfect woman in my arms. "God Blondie... You have no idea how close I was to just slipping those pretty little panties to the side and pulling you onto my dick in front of everyone," I groaned against her neck. She shivered in pleasure. "And when you bent over for that wax..." I continued, growling in appreciation at the sight in my memory. I stepped back and pulled her down, spinning her around and taking us both down to the ground.

"I want you to bend over just like you did for Erza," I purred. Lucy gulped loudly, looking at me with wide chocolate eyes. I leaned back on my haunches, gripping the base of my hard member in one hand, and she got into position on all fours in front of me, her back arching slightly and pushing her hips towards me needily. I grasped her perfect ass and kneaded it, pulling moans from those beautiful lips. I skimmed a finger down her covered slit, exhaling a groan at the sight of her wetness seeping out. "Have you been wet since a grabbed your tit?" My voice was gravely. She nodded. I continued to stroke her lightly over her panties, stroking myself as well in an effort to find some relief, her panting growing more ragged. "When I stripped in front of you and shouted your name?" I continued. She nodded vigorously.

"Fuck Laxus I almost pulled you into the bedroom just then..." she moaned. I laughed breathlessly, letting a finger slip just inside her panties and find her throbbing clit. Her startled cry had my dick twitching, and her slick heat made my mouth water. "P-Please... I can't take any more teasing...!" she begged. I licked my lips, my throat tight. My member stood straight as a fucking rod, begging to be buried inside her pussy. I shakily pulled her panties down over the beautiful curve of her hips, letting me see the creamy white of her bare ass. Her sex glistened, and I briefly remembered we were in my entry way - we hadn't even made it into the living room. I took my rod in hand and slid it up and down her lower lips, her panting and mewling growing in intensity, a light sheen of sweat forming on her body. "Oh gods Laxus... Shove your cock in me! Please!" she begged breathlessly. Any control I had snapped.

I drove my hips forward, my cock sliding all the way to the hilt in one thrust. She keened and arched her back, just like how she did when that hot wax hit her skin - but this time she bucked towards me. Her soaking wet, hot, velvety walls hugged me tightly. I started to thrust, hands flexing around her shapely hips, pulling her into me in a rhythm. I groaned lowly.

"Ngh… F-fuck…" Lucy panted, her fingers curling into fists on the floor. My teeth ground together in restraint. My dragon slayer sense allowed decent low-light vision, but I was quickly growing irritated with the darkness of my entry way. Shit we didn't even take the time to turn on the lights. I briefly considered reaching for the light switch, or perhaps shooting a bit of lightning at the bulb, but I lost my train of thought when Lucy cried out, my cock finding that spot she loves so much. I pull my hand back and let my palm smack her ass. She gasps, her body jerking closer and her walls pulsing. She turns her head to look at me over her shoulder, her cheeks dusted with pink and her eyes dark and hooded. My tongue flickers out to wet my lips, a groan rumbling from my chest. I smirk and reach out a hand to gently grasp one of her pigtails, then gathering the other as well, and gripping them with my fist. I pull backwards gently like some kind of reins and a pleasured squeal slips from her panting lips. Her neck arches backwards, her whole body bowing as I pull her back in time with my thrusts. My balls are starting to tighten and my calming breaths aren't doing much to hold it back.

I bring my palm back down on her slightly pink ass and her jolting reaction has me going cross-eyed at how fucking great it felt. "Y-You're guna make me cum!" she moans, although I'm not sure if it was meant to be a simple statement or a request to slow down. My chest puffed up in masculine pride regardless, and my lips curled into my trademark sexy smirk. I quickened my hips, aiming for that spot with every desperate thrust. I smacked her ass again, biting my lip at how she clenched.

"Let go, baby. Let go for me…" I growled. I switched hands holding her pigtails and readied myself for her approaching orgasm. Because I was not going to be able to last through it. I slapped my palm onto her other cheek, aiming for the spot I know pushed her over the edge, and grip her heated hip tightly as she cried my name. The heaven that was her satiny walls clamped down on my cock, pulling me over the edge with her. With the last of my conscious thought I pulled out my member to rest between her ass cheeks, slipping two fingers back in her spasming channel almost immediately to take it's place. I groaned her name as I spilled my seed all over her lower back, fingers working her through her descent. Her release leaked down my palm. She flopped forward to pant against the floor. I leaned back, still on my knees, while I tried to figure out how I was going to tell her that her corset now had my jizz all over the back of it.

"You came all over the back of my corset didn't you," Lucy deadpans, not raising her panting face from the floor. I chuckled warmly. When she hoisted herself up onto her knees to glare at me I looked her in the eyes and slowly licked her release off of my hand. Her eyes went wide and her scolding died on her lips, her gaze following my tongue as it lazily lapped up her juice. When I finished I pulled her close to seal my lips over hers, letting her taste herself. I nibbled her lower lip, sucking and teasing it before pulling away. Her hazy eyes and parted puffy lips brought a warm chuckle from my chest.

 **-smut end-**

"I'll admit, this wasn't exactly what I had planned, but… Merry Christmas, Blondie," I purred. She smiled, eyes twinkling.

"And what, dare I ask, _did_ you have planned?" she teased.

"Well, for starters we would've made it out of my entry way," I laughed. She looked around as if just realizing where she was.

"Oh shit you're right…" she breathed.

"Right? Anyways… I planned on laying you down on the bearskin rug I bought just for this and worshiping your body in front of a roaring fireplace," I whispered in her ear. She shivered and pressed close to me, looking up at me with wide eyes.

"Wh- Wait. Really?" she stuttered. I cocked an eyebrow. "No, it's just… that's a lot more romantic than what I thought you were going to say!" she hastily tried to explain. I smirked, but kept staring at her. "Not that you're not romantic! I just… uh…" she fidgeted, blushing. I slip my arms under her back and legs and gracefully pick her up in a princess hold, grinning at her squawk of surprise.

"I might be a sexy, dirty-minded fuck-god normally, but I'll put out some romantic shit for my babe. Especially for Christmas," I drawled. She smacked my chest half heartedly and snorted. "I even bought a Santa hat for you to wear, and hung some mistletoe and shit above the living room doorway," I continue, grinning at her amused expression.

"'Mistletoe and shit'? What's the shit, then? What all did you hang above the doorway?" Lucy teased. I shrugged.

"Pinecones. And this gaudy looking wreath thing Evergreen insisted I hang somewhere. Basically I just hung all my Christmas decorations above that one door," I say, trying and failing to suppress my grin. I started to walk us over to the living room while Lucy giggled at me in disbelief. I stopped on the other side of the doorway, turned us around and nodded towards it. Lucy's jaw dropped.

"Oh my god you were serious," she mutters, looking at what I will admit was a Christmas themed monstrosity hanging above the doorway. I wasn't lying – I don't have a lot of Christmas decorations, but I do have more than would reasonably fit in the same space above a doorway. It looked awful, and I remembered briefly the appalled and horrified looks on Freed and Evergreen's faces. "How did you even get all that to stay?!" she asked incredulously. I shrugged.

"Nail gun," I supplied. She shook her head affectionately.

"You're such a doofus," she giggles. I hit the switch on the wall with my foot, balancing precariously for a moment, and the fireplace across the room roars to life, illuminating the cliché looking bearskin rug looking rather fluffy and inviting in front of it. Lucy gasped and I blushed a little. This woman has made me into such a sap. She grips my neck and leans up to passionately kiss me, and I shift her in my arms to pull her even close. Just as I started to really get into it, something cold dripped down onto my wrist and I freeze. I immediately knew what it was, too. Lucy pulls back to look at my uncomfortable face in confusion. My lips thin and I try to figure out if there's any way to fix this that doesn't make me look like an idiot. Or at least any more than I already do.

"Your jizz just leaked onto you didn't it." She snickers behind her hand. I nod slowly. She snorts and pats my arms. "Okay just let me down and I'll fix this." I do as she told and my eyes widen when she immediately slips off the corset, looking me in the eye while she tosses it to the side. I try not to worry about where it landed. And then she takes my hand and lifts my wrist to her mouth. My dick gets hard immediately as I watch her lap up my cum from my skin. I swallow thickly when she moans throatily, letting her eyes slide closed.

"H-Hey now. I'm trying to be romantic. If you keep doing things like that I'll end up just fucking you like a dirty slut," I stammer, mentally slapping myself as soon as the words come out. She pulls back to look at me, an eyebrow cocked.

"Wow. So romantic," she says drily, but her lips twitch upwards. I shrug.

"Hey I'm trying. Now go sit that sweet ass of yours on that bearskin rug while I go grab the wine," I chuckle. I jog off to the kitchen to grab the bucket I pre-prepared from the ice box along with the two glasses I had ready on the counter. I hurry back to Lucy. She looks at me from her spot lying back on the rug and started to giggle. I stop and look at her curiously.

"Sorry. Sorry… you just... you're walking around with a massive hard on and it's both cute and incredibly sexy at the same time," she snickers. I shrug.

"Babe with you looking like that, I don't think he's goin' soft anytime soon," I smirk, crossing to her and taking a seat next to her. I carefully pour two glasses of wine and hand one to her. She pulls a Santa hat from off to the side (I'm not entirely sure where she found it) and plops it on my head. I grin and we clink our glasses together. "Merry Christmas, Blondie."

"Merry Christmas, Sparky."

I take a drink and almost spit it back out when she follows up with "How much you wanna bet Gajeel and Levy have sex in my house?"

 **No idea where in the storyline this fits - I'm thinking it happens post Jerza wedding. But whatever. Laxus is such a dork.**

 **And Wendy is fully corrupted by this point, poor thing. Give me reviews! They make me happy. But if you're going to yell at me for "breaking the no-smut guidelines" then please don't because you'll make me sad.**


End file.
